Tuesday, May 22, 2012

My apologies

I just want to apologize to all of my followers here. The past few weeks have been a very dark time for me, both job wise and life wise. I have to admit that I gave up hope, and I was even ready to commit a fatal act. If not for my friends, both ones I know from personal contact, and those I have never met, I may have taken a long term solution to a short term problem. Yes, I was that close to shuffling off this mortal coil. Of all the things to do, especially when I had a direct encounter with a friend that shot himself over something that could have been remedied with time. If not for the support I have received, I may very well have ended my life, if not today, soon.

My friends pointed out to me that I would not be hurting myself in committing this heinous act, but rather that I  would be hurting them. This may sound selfish and rightly so. I never took this into consideration when I contemplated taking my own life. I never realized that by doing this I would have such an effect on others. There is a saying, things are always darkest before the dawn, and that to me is a true statement. I was in such a dark place over the past few weeks that I could not see the light. The storm was upon me and I had lost my will to ride it out.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, no matter how bad things get, no matter how low you get, there is always hope. Even if you can't see it, it's there, waiting in the wings. I had to get this low in my life to see that there are people out there that care, and despite what you may think, you would be missed.

Besides, I still have a book and a half to finish, and I can't let my readers down. Hell, Kelli would be royally pissed if I just left her hanging.


  1. Ken - you would be missed. Take hold of the vision you have been gifted with and use it to see your future. Wish you much success and wisdom in your choices. Hugs, Lesley Fletcher (Angels care)

    1. I can be found all over - http://www.inspirationimport.wordpress.com

  2. HistorySleuth24 May, 2012 23:38

    Kelli would be pissed, mad, sad, very sad as would all your MTS writing buds over at AW. Hang in there Ken!

  3. "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem." You can make it through to the good parts of the story again. Really.